3-Step Clarity Reset

Mondays often ask us to begin again, but not from scratch. Each new week carries traces of what came before, lessons still unfolding, and questions still unanswered.

Today’s Quick Overview:

 🔬Science Spotlight: How emotional moments “rescue” nearby memories…
🛠️ Tool of The Week: Habit stacking: attach a tiny new action to a solid routine…
📰 Mental Health News: Digital tool fatigue; mystery drones and public anxiety…
🙏 Therapist Corner: Three steps to move from rumination to clarity…

Let's check in with what part of you needs tending today:

What part of you needs the most tending this Monday morning? Is it your tired body asking for a slower pace? Your busy mind needing stillness before the lists take over? Or your heart wanting reassurance that you can handle what's ahead? Whatever needs tending, give it your attention first.

Help Us Create YOUR Perfect Self-Love Workbook!

Last week, we asked what kind of journal or workbook you wanted most – and the winner was clear: SELF-LOVE! You voted, and a self-love workbook was the overwhelming favorite.

Now we need your help with the next crucial step. We've developed 6 different directions for this workbook, each with a unique approach to building unshakeable self-love. Your vote will literally determine which one we create.

This isn't just market research – the workbook you choose is the one we'll develop.

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1. You Are Enough: The 90-Day Self-Love Breakthrough
A complete transformation system with daily exercises, weekly challenges, and proven techniques to finally believe in your worth

2. The Self-Love Blueprint: Build Bulletproof Self-Love in 90 Days
An intensive, no-nonsense program to construct unshakeable confidence with daily action plans and measurable results

3. The Self-Love Revolution: 90 Days to Unshakeable Confidence
Join a movement to overthrow your inner critic and build authentic self-compassion that lasts

4. The Self-Love Fix: Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy Forever
The solution-focused workbook that identifies and eliminates self-sabotage patterns at their root

5. The Self-Love Secret: What Nobody Taught You About Loving Yourself
Discover the hidden truths and counterintuitive methods that make self-love actually stick

6. Love the Girl in the Mirror: A 6-Week Guide to Confidence, Compassion, and Loving Yourself
A gentle, transformative journey to reconnect with who you really are and fall in love with her

→Take 10 seconds to vote for the title that makes you think "Yes, I NEED this!"

12 Gentle Prompts for Trauma Healing

Find calm and safety with our free "12 Gentle Prompts for Trauma Healing." This one-page, trauma-informed guide helps you notice what soothes your body, set supportive boundaries, and choose small daily rituals that rebuild trust and self-compassion.

Print it or save it to your phone and use a prompt whenever you feel overwhelmed—healing happens one gentle question at a time.

Answered by: Sharon Joag, MSW, LSW, DPM

If you have ever heard a close friend, family member, or colleague say, "You're seriously overthinking this," "Calm down, it will pass," or "Don't get so worked up. You're thinking too much," how do you know if they might be onto something? Are you really overthinking things? Or not?

Here's What's Happening:

It's actually very natural for someone to try and solve your problems, and when they reach an impasse, they often feel uncomfortable with their own lack of clarity about your situation and feel unable to help.

In an effort to remove themselves from the conversation and the discomfort, they might resort to saying that you are overthinking. It might also be your cue that you need to take time WITH yourself and get clarity on the issue that was labeled as overthinking.

Life brings many anxiety-provoking issues and situations, either at work or in our personal lives, that we need to tackle. At first, you might feel anxious or overwhelmed with racing thoughts. You might get into thought loops that replay a situation, something you said or did, over and over again. It is normal for your brain to initially get into a thought loop, called ruminating thoughts.

Even if you don't intend to ruminate and you really want to find a solution, you might be caught up in a thought loop, and the anxiety level is so high that it creates a kind of fog in your mind that blurs all clear thoughts that might be there. This is a state of worry, overthinking, and fear which is powered by anxiety.

Try This: Three Steps to Move from Rumination to Processing

Step 1: Accept your emotion. Acknowledging that you are anxious, worried, and overwhelmed is an important first step. Once you understand that you are in this foggy space, you need to do something that can bring you a sense of calm and clear your mind. Maybe for you, it might be taking a walk, going for a run, taking a cold shower; you might want to journal, color, or draw. Focusing on something other than the issue at hand is crucial to getting on a path to resolving your anxiety.

Step 2: Put your situation into words. Once you are in a better place where you have accepted the situation at hand, write down what is bothering you and what you know, and what you don't know about the problem. By doing this, you are honing in on the problem at hand that is causing your anxiety.

Step 3: Seek clarity with curiosity. Maybe you need clarity on a portion of the story. Do you need to speak to someone involved to get more information? Think about your situation with curiosity and a goal to solve the problem or issue that you are confronted with. Then write down a list of people or ideas that are helpful in getting your problem solved.

By getting your anxiety down on paper, you can better visualize the issue and gain more insight. Getting to a place where you have a drive and desire to find a solution and allow the anxiety to propel you—not drown you—is the ultimate goal.

Advocating for Your Processing Time

Mental work and processing are important tools that will help you in every situation.

If you ever feel that you were dismissed by a friend, family member, or colleague while talking about a problem, remember that their dismissal is their inability to help you in this situation, and it is time to regroup and follow a few simple steps to regain a better understanding of your situation and re-envision a path to resolving your anxiety.

Communication is key to advocating for the processing time that you might need. Make sure that you advocate for your needs. Be sure to use "I" statements by saying, "I need some time to think through things before we have our meeting, or before I call you."

Do not say things like, "You're in my space. You are stressing me out." Instead, say, "I need some time to think on my own, so that I can stay grounded."

Remember that drawing your boundaries is not mean or disrespectful. Advocating for yourself usually garners much respect.

Sharon Joag, MSW, LSW, DPM, is currently working at Oaks Integrated Care, a non-profit mental health clinic, as a psychotherapist. Sharon recently retired and sold her Podiatry practice in Old Bridge, New Jersey, after working for 17 years. She has also been a certified health coach since 2015. As a mother, Sharon loves spending time with her family and her two cats. Sharon is passionate about writing and has published poetry in "A Collection of Poems," a collection of short stories called "OMG Baby," and, most recently in 2025, "Balancing Care and Business: A Guide for Doctors in Private Practice."

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Habit Stacking

What it is: A strategy where you attach a new habit you want to build onto something you already do automatically. The formula is: "After I [existing habit], I will [new habit]." For example, "After I pour my morning coffee, I'll write down my top priority for the day." You're using your current routine as a built-in reminder for the new behavior.

Why it works: Your brain bundles repeated behaviors into automatic sequences so you don't have to think about them. When you stack a new habit onto an established one, you're using this existing neural pattern. The old habit becomes a cue that triggers the new behavior, with no need for constant motivation or remembering.

How to practice it:

When to use it: When you keep forgetting to do something you want to make routine. If you've tried to build a habit through willpower alone. Perfect for habits like taking vitamins, doing breathing exercises, journaling, or stretching.

Pro tip: Your stack needs to match in size and energy. Don't attach a 30-minute workout to putting on your socks. Keep the new habit laughably small at first; you can always expand later. Be specific about the trigger: not "after I eat" but "after I put my lunch plate in the dishwasher." The more precise the cue, the stronger the link.

Scientists Discover How Emotional Moments Reach Back in Time to Save Ordinary Memories

The Research: Researchers studying 650 participants found that the brain uses "graded prioritization" to strengthen fragile memories based on their connection to emotionally charged moments.

Memories formed after an emotional event were strengthened based on intensity, while memories from before were preserved if they shared visual or conceptual overlap with the pivotal moment.

For example, spotting a majestic bison herd while hiking strengthens memories of ordinary moments before and after. The brain prioritized rescuing weak memories that would otherwise fade.

Why It Matters: Memory isn't passive; your brain actively decides what matters and can reach back in time to stabilize fragile experiences by connecting them to emotional events. In education, pairing emotionally engaging material with difficult concepts could improve retention.

Try It Today: When studying important information, create emotional anchors through engaging discussions, personal connections, or meaningful examples. Your brain will naturally strengthen memories that overlap with emotionally significant moments.

I can distinguish between doing my best and achieving perfection. Sometimes my best doesn't produce the outcome I wanted, and that's not the same as failing.

Think of one time you tried something that didn't work out as planned, but you're proud you attempted it anyway. The courage to try is its own success.

It's okay if your best today looks different than your best last week. Capacity fluctuates, and showing up with whatever you have is always enough.

Think of something you've been avoiding because you're afraid you won't do it well. Commit to trying it once, not to succeed, just to practice continuing despite uncertainty.

Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a scientist in a laboratory, notebook filled with failed experiments. Each "failure" teaches them what doesn't work, narrowing the path toward what does. They don't crumple the pages. They turn them, knowing that stopping would be the only true waste. Tonight, you can treat your own setbacks with that same curious respect.

Spend three minutes writing: What recent disappointment am I calling a failure that might actually just be information about what to try next?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: Where did I confuse "not succeeding yet" with "not being capable"? What would I attempt if I trusted that trying itself has value? What am I on the verge of quitting that deserves one more attempt?

"A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying." — B.F. Skinner

The only real failure is the attempt you never make because you stopped believing in yourself.

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Coming Tuesday: What to say when your family invalidates your feelings by saying "that's just how we are," and how to challenge the excuse that tradition justifies harm or dismisses your needs.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.