Asking Is Strength

That uncomfortable feeling when you know you need support but asking for help feels like admitting failure reveals something important: many of us learned early that fierce independence equals strength, while needing others equals weakness. Today’s expert explains why reaching out can feel like crossing a line from capable to needy, and how the struggle to ask for support often comes from old programming that taught us our worth was tied to being everyone's helper rather than ever needing help ourselves.

Today’s Quick Overview:

🔬Science Spotlight: Why PTSD brains can't let go of trauma, plus a drug already in human trials that could finally fix it...
🛠️ Tool of The Week: "Urge surfing" - how to treat intense cravings like ocean waves and ride them out instead of fighting them or giving in...
📰 Mental Health News: Illinois bans AI chatbots from impersonating therapists, spiritual practices shown to boost mental health, and inaccurate self-reports cast doubt on video game research...
🙏 Therapist Corner: Why asking for help feels so uncomfortable and how to overcome the deep belief that needing support means you're failing (answered by an expert)...

Let's tune into what voice is speaking loudest in your head right now:

What's the loudest voice in your head this Monday morning? Is it the anxious one listing everything that needs to happen this week? The tired one saying "not yet"? The hopeful one quietly excited about new possibilities? Whatever voice is winning right now deserves to be heard, and then gently reminded that it doesn't have to carry the whole week alone.

Catch the Thought Worksheets

Today’s free gift is a free printable therapy tool that helps you gently examine your thought patterns using a simple, evidence-based CBT technique. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just stuck in your head, this worksheet offers a calm space to pause, reflect, and redirect your thinking with compassion. Perfect for teens, young adults, or anyone exploring emotional healing, this one-page guide is a powerful step toward clarity and calm.

Use these worksheets to:

How to claim your FREE worksheets: This digital worksheet set is 100% FREE - no strings attached! Simply reply to this email with today's date (August 11, 2025) and we'll send you the high-resolution file within 24-30 hours. You can then print it at home or at your local print shop in any size you prefer.

Reply now with "August 11, 2025" to receive your free Catch the Thought Worksheets! Our team will send your file within 24-30 hours.

Today’s Expert: Hayley Bilski (Accredited Mental Health Social Worker)

In a recent poll, a majority of you responded that what makes asking for support feel hardest is feeling like you should handle everything alone—believing you're supposed to be self-sufficient and that needing help means you're failing.

This week, we've invited an expert to explore why reaching out can feel so uncomfortable and how to overcome the deep-seated belief that asking for help makes you a burden.

The Question: “I know deep down that I need support, but when I even think about asking for help, I feel so uncomfortable, like I am being a burden, or admitting I have failed. How can I overcome these feelings when I really need other people’s care in my life?”

Have you ever really wanted some support with everyday life, or had a pressing question to ask, and yet felt a lump in your throat just thinking about asking for help? For many, the idea of reaching out feels like crossing a line from being strong to becoming weak, from being capable to becoming needy.

The truth is, these are all learned thoughts that have become very comfortable in our minds. The struggle to ask for support is not a personal failure; it is an opportunity to reflect on deep-set patterns that deserve compassion, not judgment.

From a young age, many of us are taught that fierce independence, being strong, and not being a burden are healthy approaches to handling life. These messages become etched into our nervous systems through some family members, friends, education systems, social media, and general societal beliefs.

Even if we grew up in healthy, supportive environments, society often teaches us that asking for help could be seen as a weakness. In particular, if we grew up in environments where emotional needs were met with silence, shame, or being misunderstood, these ingrained thought patterns would be intensified.

When considering family dynamics and the roles we may have played growing up, some of us became the caregivers, the fixers, the emotional anchors in our families and communities.

We learned to anticipate others' needs while burying our own. Over time, this role becomes an identity. To ask for help feels like betraying that identity, like unravelling the very thing that made us feel valuable.

Shame builds into fearing vulnerability, and we worry that others will think we are too messy, that our problems are too big for them, and that those we care about will walk away. If we see others as more competent, we may feel ashamed of our own struggles and avoid seeking help to preserve pride.

The interesting paradox with this train of thought is that humans are wired for connection. When we observe well-balanced communities in humans and nature, our minds, bodies, spirits, and thoughts are built to co-regulate with others. Support is actually not an indulgence; it is a biological necessity. When we suppress that need, we don't become stronger. We become isolated, anxious, bitter, burnt out, and exhausted.

Vulnerability is the opposite of weakness. It is the foundation of connection, empathy, and healing. So, can we reframe what real strength looks like?

Real strength is about building trusting relationships with ourselves and with others. Real strength is about inner resilience. And resilience is built through changing our own inner narrative and forming secure relationships with others, building courage, and taking small chances. Imagine if we measured strength not by how much we endure alone, but by how bravely we reach out.

Starting with small steps will always lead to more long-term success. Here are some ideas on where to begin:

Journaling, drawing, writing poetry, sitting or walking in nature, meditating, and talking with a therapist are some ways to reflect on changing these inner voices and encouraging yourself to connect, to be vulnerable, and to ask for support.

Rating your experiences of asking for help, looking at how afraid you were, how big the ask was, and how positive the outcome was, can also help in exposing yourself more and more to reaching out.

Practice asking without needing to apologise or overexplain. This may feel uncomfortable, but it will encourage you to build on your self-worth when asking for support. Although this is hard, asking in person is often better than through messages, as your tone and authenticity will come through more face-to-face.

When anxiety arises, consider deep breathing, mantras such as "It is okay for me to ask for help", and grounding exercises. Acknowledge your courage and ability to change your old habits.

Treating yourself with the same kindness as you would treat others is the greatest form of self-care. Everyone we know, at some points in their lives, will struggle with something. This is an innate part of the human experience.

By reaching out to others, we are deepening relationships, building courage, resilience, confidence, connection, and role modelling, living in a world where we help each other out. What could be better than practising and recognising shared humanity?

Hayley Bilski is the founder of Mindspace Therapy Practice in Sydney, Australia, working in person and online with Nature Focused, Compassion-Based, Acceptance and Commitment, and Cognitive Behavioural therapeutic approaches. She has been a social worker for over 20 years and is passionate about guiding people towards being the best version of themselves and working through challenges with greater self-compassion.

Urge Surfing

What it is: Urge surfing is treating intense cravings or impulses like ocean waves. Acknowledge them, ride them out, and watch them naturally subside without acting on them.

Instead of fighting the urge or immediately giving in, you observe it with curiosity and let it follow its natural course: building up, peaking, and then fading away. The key insight is that all urges are temporary, even when they feel overwhelming in the moment.

Why it works: Your brain's reward system creates powerful associations between certain behaviors and feeling good, which is why cravings can feel so compelling. B

ut urges naturally have a beginning, middle, and end, meaning that these are not permanent states. When you ride them out instead of immediately reacting, you train your brain that you can handle uncomfortable feelings without giving in. Over time, this actually weakens the intensity of future urges.

How to practice it:

When to use it: Perfect for any impulse you want to manage better, such as reaching for snacks when you're not hungry, scrolling social media compulsively, shopping impulsively, snapping at someone when you're frustrated, or any habit you're trying to change.

It's especially helpful when you feel like you "have to" do something right now, even though you know you'll regret it later.

Pro tip: Get familiar with your personal craving patterns and triggers so you can recognize them early. The more you practice this when urges are smaller, the better you'll be at surfing the bigger waves when they come. Don't judge yourself for having urges; they're completely normal.

Research backing: Studies show that mindfulness-based approaches like urge surfing effectively reduce impulsive behaviors and strengthen emotional regulation. When urges aren't acted upon, they naturally decrease in intensity over time. This technique is widely used in addiction treatment and has proven effective for managing everything from substance cravings to emotional impulses.

Important note: Urge surfing is for everyday impulses and habits, not for serious addiction, eating disorders, or situations involving safety risks. If you're experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms, medical emergencies, or cravings that could put you or others in danger, seek professional help immediately rather than relying on this technique alone.

Scientists Discover Why PTSD Brains Can't Let Go of Trauma, And a Drug That Could Fix It

Research finding: Researchers identified a surprising culprit behind PTSD's persistent fear memories: star-shaped brain cells called astrocytes are producing too much GABA, a chemical that normally calms the brain.

Brain scans of over 380 participants revealed that PTSD patients had elevated GABA levels in the medial prefrontal cortex, the brain region critical for regulating fear. This excess GABA was actually blocking the brain's ability to forget traumatic memories.

Using postmortem brain tissue and mouse models, the team discovered that astrocytes, which were long thought to be passive support cells, were actively producing this problematic GABA through an enzyme called monoamine oxidase B (MAOB).

When they gave mice a drug called KDS2010 that blocks this enzyme, the animals' brains normalized, and they could finally extinguish fear responses. The drug has already passed Phase 1 safety trials in humans.

Why it matters: This research overturns conventional thinking about PTSD in two major ways. First, it reveals that too much of a calming brain chemical, not too little, can actually trap people in traumatic memories. Second, it shows that astrocytes, previously considered just support cells, actively drive psychiatric symptoms.

Current PTSD medications target serotonin pathways and help only a subset of patients. This discovery opens an entirely new treatment approach by targeting the cellular source of memory dysfunction rather than just managing symptoms. For people whose PTSD hasn't responded to conventional treatments, this could represent a genuine breakthrough.

The fact that KDS2010 is already in human trials means this isn't just a lab discovery; this could potentially reach patients relatively quickly compared to starting from scratch with new drugs.

Try it today: If you're dealing with PTSD or trauma responses, understand that your brain's inability to "move on" from certain memories isn't a personal failure. This may be a specific biological dysfunction that could potentially be corrected.

While waiting for new treatments, focus on evidence-based approaches that help the brain process traumatic memories, like trauma-focused therapy, EMDR, or other specialized treatments.

Your brain's fear extinction system may be impaired, but with the right support, it can still learn new, safer associations over time. This research offers hope that biological treatments may soon complement psychological interventions for more complete healing.

Today’s Visualization Journey: Art Supply Store Before a Workshop

Picture yourself browsing through a well-stocked art supply store on a Monday morning, gathering materials for a watercolor workshop that starts this afternoon. The store is quiet and organized, with rows of paint tubes arranged by color family, brushes standing like tiny soldiers in glass containers, and paper samples you can touch to feel their different textures.

The shop owner helps you select the right supplies, explaining the difference between student-grade and artist-quality paints with the enthusiasm of someone who genuinely loves helping people create. "Monday workshops are special," she tells you. "Everyone comes in fresh, ready to try something new without the weight of the week on their shoulders."

As you gather your materials: a small palette, three good brushes, paper that feels substantial under your fingers, you feel the anticipation that comes with having all the tools you need for a new creative adventure. Your bag holds possibility, and the afternoon workshop promises the joy of learning something entirely for the pleasure of it.

Make It Yours: What new skill or creative exploration are you ready to gather tools for this week? How can you approach Monday with the same excitement as someone about to try watercolors for the first time?

Today’s Affirmations

Monday mornings can feel overwhelming when unresolved concerns from previous weeks crowd your mental space. But you don't need to clear every worry or fix every ongoing issue before you can take the first step forward. Sometimes the best way to handle what's weighing on you is to gently set it aside and focus on what's actually possible today.

Try this: When you notice yourself stuck on big-picture concerns, gently redirect: "I can carry this awareness with me while still taking care of what's in front of me today. Progress doesn't require solving everything at once."

Gratitude Spotlight

Today's Invitation: "What's one thing that happened this weekend that restored your energy instead of draining it?"

Why It Matters: Monday mornings often follow weekends that felt too short or too busy, leaving us feeling like we didn't really recharge. But most weekends contain at least one moment that actually did replenish us, even if it was brief. Recognizing these restorative experiences helps us understand what truly nourishes us and reminds us that renewal is possible even in small doses.

Try This: Think about what made that moment feel different from the activities that drained you. Was it the lack of pressure, the presence of joy, or simply feeling like yourself? Say quietly, "That gave me energy back." Feel grateful for your ability to recognize what restores you and for having access to experiences that genuinely refresh your spirit.

Why it matters today: It's easy to fall into the habit of just getting through our days. Marking time until the weekend, waiting for vacation, or counting down to some future milestone, we’re constantly keeping an eye on the clock, waiting for the next thing. But Ali reminds us that life isn't measured by how many days we accumulate, but by how much meaning we pack into each one.

Bring it into your day: Instead of focusing on what day of the week it is or how long until your next break, ask yourself: "How can I make today matter?" It doesn't have to be dramatic. Today, do something that makes this specific day worth remembering. You can't get today back once it's gone, so make it count for something more than just another date on the calendar.

Your 3-Minute Writing Invitation: "What's one way I've been giving my energy to something that doesn't really energize me back, and what would it look like to redirect that attention?"

Why Today's Prompt Matters: Monday is perfect for examining where your mental and emotional energy goes throughout the day. Writing about these energy drains can help you identify one small area where you could redirect your attention toward something more nourishing.

New to journaling? Start with one honest sentence. There’s no wrong way to do this. Think of your journal as a conversation with yourself, not a performance. Over time, these small notes can help you notice patterns, celebrate quiet wins, and stay connected to the person that you’re becoming.

The "Stop Mid-Scroll" Challenge

This week, every time you catch yourself mindlessly scrolling social media or news, stop immediately, even if you're in the middle of reading something, and do one tiny real-world action instead. Put away one item, drink some water, look out the window, or text someone you care about. No judgment about the scrolling, just practice redirecting.

Why it works: Breaking automatic patterns helps you reclaim small moments throughout your day and reminds you that you have more choice in how you spend your attention than it sometimes feels like.

Try this: The goal isn't to quit social media but to notice when you're using it unconsciously versus intentionally. See how many times you can catch yourself and redirect. You might be surprised by how much scattered time you reclaim.

Permission to Not Feel Grateful All the Time

You're allowed to have days when you feel frustrated, disappointed, or just flat without forcing yourself to focus on what you should be thankful for or trying to manufacture appreciation you don't genuinely feel.

Why it matters: Gratitude has become another form of emotional productivity; something we think we should be doing constantly to prove we're good people or to fix negative feelings. But forced gratitude while ignoring the heavier stuff often creates shame about our authentic emotions and prevents us from processing difficult feelings that need attention.

If you need the reminder: You can be a grateful person without feeling grateful every single moment. Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is acknowledge that today is hard without trying to silver-lining your way out of it. Your negative emotions deserve space, too.

Tonight's Gentle Review

 Invite the day to exhale by asking yourself:

Release Ritual: Hold your hands under warm running water for 30 seconds, focusing on the temperature and sensation. As you dry them, imagine you're also washing away any lingering doubts about your ability to handle whatever this week brings.

The new week often brings paralysis around starting things because we want to do them exactly right. This question challenges the belief that you need to have everything figured out before you can begin, recognizing that progress often emerges through doing rather than planning.

Hit reply and tell us: what did you release, and how did it feel? We feature a few anonymous responses in future editions, so keep an eye out. You might just see your words helping someone else breathe easier.

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Coming Tuesday: What to say when your family keeps asking when you're going to have kids and how to shut down the topic without sharing personal information or starting drama.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.