Celebrate Without Apology

In today’s edition: How academic success can feel isolating (and the pressure to “dumb down”), your brain’s toggle between memory and discovery, and the relief of being understood without full agreement, plus a gentle glide from doing to resting.

Today’s Quick Overview:

🔬 Science Spotlight: Your brain’s built-in switch...
🗣 Therapist Corner: When achievement breeds loneliness...
📰 Mental Health News: Boxing and pregnancy sickness mental-health risks....
🫂 Community Voices: Being understood ≠ being agreed with...

Let's check in with how much space you need and how you want to move through it:

Do you want wide-open space to celebrate and stretch into joy, a quiet nook to decompress, or a gentle bridge between work and rest? Now choose a pace to match: a victory dance, a slow exhale, or steady steps toward restoration. Let your space and your pace honor this transition.

We often minimize our own wins. What keeps you from celebrating?

Therapy Mood & Action Guide Poster

Meet your free two-in-one helper: a simple Therapy Mood & Action Guide Poster to name what you feel, followed by a gentle Action Flowchart to choose what to do next. Print it for your wall or save it on your phone as a calm, visual reminder that support can be clear and kind.

Whether you are in a tough moment or building steadier habits, this printable offers practical next steps without overwhelm. Download, print, or save—a small gift for your wellness today.

As students head back to school this September, many high achievers are facing a familiar dilemma: how to navigate academic environments where their intelligence might make them stand out in uncomfortable ways. This back-to-school season, today’s expert addresses the unique loneliness that can come with academic success and the pressure many gifted students feel to "dumb themselves down" to fit in.

Answered By: Tamara Listinsky, LCPC, NCC (NBCC); Nevada School Mental Health Professional; IAEDP member; Mastery Certificate Therapeutic Horticulture Professional

The emotions that come with the success of achieving a goal are amazing! And it's part of human nature as social creatures that we look to share our joy and success with other people. We expect that family and friends will also feel the same and join in celebrating our achievements. But sometimes, this isn't what happens.

Instead, success results in feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and isolation. Often experienced by academically able people and high achievers who are "expected" to attain success, achievements become an internal conflict of shame and embarrassment.

And when rejection relates to core skills and abilities of a person, it can lead to incredible sadness and despair. We wouldn't expect family or friends to, instead of celebrating achievements, put down or make subtle yet hurtful comments about someone's success, yet it happens.

Why This Happens

Sometimes people aren't aware of how their behavior affects others. Consider a high-achieving student who always gets A's. When they accomplish something difficult, a parent who's used to their child's top scores might treat it as just what's expected, instead of something to be celebrated. How does the student perceive this reaction to their achievement?

Other reasons include jealousy that someone else is successful and they aren't. Perhaps your achievements stir feelings of disappointment or regret in others. Guilt surfaces when a friend comments about how hard they've been working toward something while you're the one getting recognized.

This guilt leads to apologizing, and "I'm sorry" becomes the natural response to achievements and success. However, recognizing these negative response patterns and identifying how to respond differently can break this negative cycle.

Social pressures also play a role in high achievers and academically able people downplaying or "dumbing down" their intelligence. Consider that fitting in and being part of the group feels safe and accepted.

But when a high achiever or gifted person is the one receiving accolades, they stand out from the group, and this leads to being alienated, called weird, and feeling different. Belittling accomplishments becomes another coping method to fit in. But unlike humility, it stems from embarrassment about achievements.

Coping with Negativity

One way to counter negativity and protect your emotional well-being is to express how you feel and talk with the person. Either address it in the moment or later, when you've had time to think about how to respond.

Additionally, understanding why someone reacts negatively to your achievements gives a different perspective and sense of the issue. Alternatively, being selective about who you share certain aspects of your life with is a way to strengthen positivity in our lives. Ask yourself: would the friend who is fun to hang out with but is always complaining celebrate your achievements?

Embracing Success

Recognizing that you control your emotions and thoughts is the first step to navigating social and environmental challenges that high achievers and academically able people face. It's easy to wrap our thoughts around disappointment and other emotions that don't feel great.

However, when acknowledging that all emotions are part of the human experience, accepting that sometimes things are great and sometimes not is okay. And if you want to feel differently, you have the power and control to do so.

How?

Practicing gratitude, using affirmations, and other mindfulness or positive psychology skills strengthens our confidence and creates balance between self-acceptance and social challenges.

Taking the challenge to explore new experiences, finding communities of like-minded people, such as joining a club or taking a class, are examples of ways to be in environments that support your abilities.

Thus, it's in learning and practicing these skills that opens the gate to finding genuine connections while being authentically smart and celebrating you.

Tamara Listinsky works full-time as a School-Based Mental Health Professional in the Washoe County School District (WCSD) in a High School and owns a small private practice. She specializes in teen issues, including 2e, gifted, neurodivergence, mood and psychotic disorders, and trauma-informed therapy, in addition to integrating nature-based therapies whenever possible for a holistic approach to mental wellness.

Link to her website: EmotionalWellnessTherapy.com

Scientists Discover Your Brain's Hidden Toggle Switch Between Memory and New Experience

Research finding: Researchers recorded the hippocampus, or the brain’s memory hub, while animals explored familiar vs. new spaces. They found a flexible switching mechanism: inhibitory circuits rebalance how slow (theta) and fast (gamma) brain rhythms interact.

In familiar settings, the system favors reactivating stored memories; in novelty, it shifts to integrating old memories with fresh input to update the map.

Why it matters: This reveals how your brain fluidly moves between autopilot and active learning. Walking your usual route? The system leans on what you already know. Enter a new neighborhood? It instantly pivots to blend memory with new cues. That rhythmic “toggle” may also clarify attention and offer clues for conditions that disrupt flexible thinking.

Try it today: Notice which mode you are in. During routines, quietly label it “memory mode” and let the efficient script carry you. When you encounter something new, say “discovery mode” and tune your senses: what is similar, what is different, what needs updating?

You can also exercise this switch on purpose by taking a different path home, trying a new ingredient, or reading outside your usual interests. Small doses of novelty, nested inside familiar routines, are a gentle way to practice cognitive flexibility.

Today’s Visualization Journey: Sunset Canoe Trip on the River

Slip a canoe into calm water as September light softens. Trees hint at autumn; clouds mirror perfectly on the surface. Your paddle dips, lifts, and the boat glides.

Herons hunt the shallows, turtles sun on a log, geese call somewhere upriver. Other boats drift past in companionable quiet. This is an evening made for floating, not rushing.

Gold turns to pink, then rose on the water. You feel the week loosen its grip as you surrender to the easy pull of the current, moving forward with almost no effort, carried by something larger than you.

Make It Yours: What current in your life are you ready to trust and follow as this week ends? How can you practice the art of gentle forward movement without forcing the pace?

Today’s Affirmations

Friday is a good day to look back with kindness. Maybe you were less patient, focused, or generous than you hoped. Every version of you was working with the resources available in that moment. That effort deserves acknowledgment, not judgment.

Try this: Recall one messy moment and say, “That me was struggling and still trying. I appreciate the effort, even if the outcome wasn’t ideal.”

Gratitude Spotlight

Today's Invitation: "What's one thing about your current life circumstances that would have seemed impossible or unrealistic to you a few years ago?"

Why It Matters: End-of-week fatigue can blur progress. Real change often arrives quietly, step by step, until it’s part of your everyday. Looking back over a longer arc helps you see what has actually shifted.

Try This: Let your past self “see” you today. Say quietly, “I’ve come farther than I realized.” Be grateful for the persistence that built this chapter.

Why it matters today: With time and perspective, some challenges stop feeling like threats and start adding texture to our story. What once felt like only a storm can become part of the color without erasing how hard it was.

Bring it into your day: Think of a past experience that felt overwhelming then. Can you name one thing it gave you, like patience, compassion, clearer boundaries, or courage, that you might not have grown otherwise? Let that be enough; no need to romanticize the pain.

Looking ahead: You don’t have to be grateful for hardship to trust that it can change shape over time. Consider that today’s clouds may someday add contrast rather than darkness. You’re allowed to hold both truths: it was hard, and it helped you grow.

"I Learned That Being Understood is Different From Being Agreed With"

Shared by Jordan

I’ve always been the person who cannot let things go. My dad thought I should have gone to law school instead of music, so I would spend hours explaining why he was wrong. Friends said I was too picky about dating, and I would list every reason my standards made sense. I believed that if I explained myself clearly enough, everyone would come around. It backfired. People started avoiding certain topics because they knew I would turn it into a whole argument.

Last month, my sister and I debated Mom’s birthday for over an hour. She wanted a big reunion; I wanted a quiet dinner. Finally, she said, “Jordan, I get your point about Mom’s anxiety. I just see it differently.”

That line stopped me. She understood me and still disagreed. I had always assumed that real understanding would lead to my conclusion. But people do not work that way. My dad can understand why I love music and still think it is risky. My friends can see why I am selective and still think I am missing out.

Now, when I share an opinion, I am not trying to recruit anyone. I want to be heard. Once I stopped treating conversations like a crusade to convince people, people started listening better. Sometimes I even ask, “Do you feel like you understand me, even if you don’t agree?” It helps us both relax.

Share Your Story

Have a mental health journey you'd like to share with our community? Reply back to this email. All submissions are anonymized and edited for length with your approval before publication. Each published story receives a $10 donation to the mental health charity of your choice.

Your 3-Minute Writing Invitation: "What's one thing I learned about myself this week that I didn't expect, and how might that insight influence my choices going forward?"

Why Today's Prompt Matters: Fridays are good for catching quiet breakthroughs you weren’t hunting for. Maybe you tolerated uncertainty better than you thought, found a strong opinion you didn’t know you had, or noticed you meet stress differently now. These surprises are evidence of growth already underway.

Permission to Celebrate Your Week, Even If It Wasn't Productive

You're allowed to feel good about making it through a week that was mostly about surviving, resting, or simply maintaining rather than achieving, creating, or advancing toward goals.

Why it matters: Not every week is for big strides. Some are for recovery, adjustment, or keeping the lights on. Those weeks sustain the ones where you can push.

If you need the reminder:You don’t need visible progress to have a meaningful week. Caring for basics, tending relationships, and not giving up when it was hard are real wins. That's worth celebrating, too.

Tonight's Gentle Review

As your day closes, find a quiet moment with these three gentle questions:

Release Ritual: Write down anything still circling in your mind on a small piece of paper. Then choose: keep it for tomorrow's action, physically place it in a "worry jar," or safely burn it as a symbol of release.

Podcast: "Can You Train Your Mind to Be Happier?" (The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos)

Listen: “Can You Train Your Mind to Be Happier?” (with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar)

This conversation between Dr. Laurie Santos and Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar tackles whether happiness can actually be trained, revealing that while about 30% of our happiness seems genetic, there's significant room for change through intentional practices.

The discussion moves beyond simple positive thinking to evidence-based strategies like gratitude journaling, micro-social connections, and fighting "hedonic adaptation".

Santos shares striking data about college mental health crises and how technology steals opportunities for human connection, while both experts emphasize that happiness training requires consistent effort, like physical fitness, rather than one-time fixes.

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Coming Monday: The 15-year study that reveals which foods actually prevent multiple diseases as you age, showing how dietary patterns influence your overall trajectory of aging and disease accumulation.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.