Gentle Holiday Limits

As the holidays approach, many people try to push harder just to get through to the end off the year. This week, we’re doing the opposite. Each edition will focus on rest. Not just sleep, but the kind of rest your nervous system actually needs to stay regulated, present, and emotionally intact during a demanding season.

Today’s Quick Overview:

🔬Science Spotlight: Heat slows early childhood learning…
🛠️ Tool of The Week: Drop anchor when overwhelmed…
📰 Mental Health News: Holiday pressure and misused Psychology…
🙏 Daily Practice: Hope as steady anchor…

Let's check in with what kind of rest your body is actually asking for:

What kind of rest is your body asking for this Monday? Sleep to catch up on debt? Stillness to quiet your nervous system? Play to remember joy? Sleep rest needs early bedtimes, stillness rest needs no agenda time, play rest needs permission to be unproductive and light.

Your body might be asking for a specific kind of rest you're not giving it. Which type do you need but rarely receive?

Dopamine Therapy Poster

Discover how to gently boost your motivation and joy with this free Dopamine Therapy Poster. Learn simple, science-backed ways to naturally increase your brain’s “feel-good” chemical — through creativity, gratitude, movement, and mindful self-care. A perfect daily reminder that healing doesn’t require big leaps, just consistent moments of progress.

Answered by: Dionne Butler, LPC

Family gatherings—be they holidays—transform after a loss. What was once comforting now feels stressful, marked by an unseen but palpable absence. If you are facing a post-loss event, recognize this truth: it is complicated, and your struggle is valid.

Drawing on family systems principles, here is a guide to managing the complex dynamics and finding strategies for compassion during these difficult times.

Understanding the Family System After Loss

A family is a system, and the death of a member fundamentally destabilizes its structure. The resulting grief, combined with the social demands of a gathering, creates a perfect storm of tension. We often complicate this by clinging to the Myth of Uniformity—the unfair expectation that all close family members should grieve identically—which can at times create unspoken or spoken conflict.

It can be helpful to acknowledge that grieving is different for each individual. These differences stem from two main styles of grief:

Beyond style, the depth of the relationship and past coping skills deeply influence how a person reacts. It is important to acknowledge and be compassionate about the differences in grieving.

Navigating Different Grieving Styles

The sharpest conflict often emerges between those who need to talk about the deceased and those who desperately avoid the topic.

The key to navigating this is respectful boundary setting:

Acknowledging the Absence

You may be wondering if you need to acknowledge the absence of your loved one. Please remember that the loud silence surrounding the deceased creates more pressure than any planned acknowledgment. The goal is to provide doorways for remembrance rather than forcing everyone through a single, required ritual. This respects the silent griever while honoring the person who is gone.

As you process this information, consider what you and your loved ones might need for support, while also remembering that honoring the absence doesn't require a special ceremony. Recognizing the loss doesn't require a formal ceremony. Subtle methods—like lighting a special candle, sharing a simple toast, or placing a meaningful object—allow family members to connect with the memory without emotional pressure.

Protecting Your Own Emotional Resources

Before you can support others, you are required to honor and prioritize your own grief:

Remember that navigating collective grief is an experiment in emotional survival. Be gentle with your loved ones, and please be even gentler with your own heart. Seek connection, focusing on small, authentic moments that beautifully balance remembrance for the person who died and presence for those who remain.

Dionne Butler is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the owner of Discover and Restore in Mystic, CT. She provides specialized support for individuals navigating challenges such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Her approach focuses on helping clients discover stability and restore well-being. Learn more at discoverandrestore.com or find her Psychology Today profile at psychologytoday.com/profile/853702

What If 2026 Were the Year You Finally Stopped Being Your Own Worst Enemy?

You know that voice.

The one that wakes you up at 3 AM to replay every mistake you've ever made. The one that watches you achieve something meaningful—then whispers "it still wasn't enough."

You scroll through everyone else's highlight reels at midnight, wondering why you can't just be happy. Why you keep saying yes to everything, abandoning your own needs, then hating yourself for it by Sunday night.

You've tried the affirmations. The gratitude lists. The "just love yourself" advice that sounds so simple when other people say it.

But here's what nobody tells you: You can't positive-think your way out of a nervous system that learned self-criticism was survival. You need tools. Real ones.

This 90-Day Self-Love Journal was designed for exactly where you are right now:

✓ Catch the shame spiral before it hijacks your entire day ✓ Set boundaries using word-for-word scripts (no more guilt, no more guessing) ✓ Track your progress so you can see you're healing—even on days you can't feel it ✓ Return without shame when you miss days (because this journal expects you to be human)

We have 300 copies left. They ship in 1-2 days.

That means your journal arrives before January 1st—so while everyone else is making empty promises, you're already 5 pages deep in actually changing.

✨ Order now and get instant access to our Digital Self-Love Toolkit ($45 value FREE):

⏰ We sold 1000 copies in our first pre-order sale. These last 300 won't last long (And they are in stock right now, so we ship them out in 1-2 days!)

*Your purchase does double good: Not only do you get life-changing tools for your own healing journey, but you also help us keep this newsletter free for everyone who needs it. Every sale directly funds our team's mission to make mental health support accessible to all.

Dropping Anchor

What it is: Dropping Anchor is a grounding technique that helps you stabilize when difficult emotions or thoughts are pulling you under.

Why it works: When you're caught in emotional overwhelm or anxious thoughts, you're essentially untethered, disconnected from your body and surroundings. This technique doesn't try to change or fix your emotions; instead, it anchors you firmly in the present moment so you can experience them without being swept away. By deliberately connecting to your physical body and immediate environment, you create stability even while the storm continues around you.

How to practice it:

Pro tip: You can repeat this as many times as needed. Sometimes one round is enough; other times you might need to drop anchor several times to feel steady. The key is that you're not trying to make the difficult feelings go away, you're just keeping yourself grounded while they're there.

Extreme Heat Is Slowing Young Children's Development Before They Even Start School

The Research: Researchers analyzed data from 19,607 children ages three to four across six countries and discovered that children exposed to average maximum temperatures above 86°F were 5 to 6.7 percent less likely to meet basic literacy and numeracy milestones compared to children experiencing temperatures below 78.8°F.

They found that the heat's impact wasn't uniform. Children in economically disadvantaged households, homes with limited access to clean water, and densely populated urban areas showed the strongest effects.

Why It Matters: This research reveals that climate change isn't just a future threat to children; it's actively slowing their cognitive development right now, during the years that lay the foundation for lifelong learning. Extreme heat specifically impacts literacy and numeracy, the building blocks for all future education, meaning these children may enter school already behind.

Early childhood, especially ages three to four, represents a period of explosive brain development. Heat exposure may fundamentally alter developmental trajectories in ways that become harder to remediate later.

Try It Today: If you're a parent or caregiver of young children in a hot climate, recognize that extreme heat isn't just uncomfortable, it's cognitively damaging during critical developmental windows.

Prioritize keeping young children cool during the hottest parts of the day: seek air-conditioned spaces like libraries or community centers, use fans and cool water, avoid outdoor activities during peak heat, and ensure adequate hydration.

Advocate for climate-aware early childhood policies in your community: cooling centers that welcome families with young children, subsidized air conditioning for low-income households with preschoolers, and heat-adapted schedules for early learning programs.

I can hold onto hope even when everything around me feels unstable. Hope isn't naive optimism; it's the anchor that keeps me steady when the waters are rough.

Think of one time when hope kept you going through a difficult period, even when you couldn't see how things would improve. That small belief in possibility carried you further than certainty ever could have.

It's okay to struggle while still hoping. You don't have to pretend everything is fine to believe it might get better.

When you feel overwhelmed or uncertain today, pause and name one thing you're still hoping for, no matter how small. "I hope tomorrow is easier." "I hope I figure this out." Let that hope be your anchor, even if you can't see the shore yet.

GET YOUR FREE THERAPY TOOLKIT

We just launched Mental Health Pros, a brand-new weekly newsletter built exclusively for therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals—and we're celebrating by giving away our Complete Therapy Success Toolkit absolutely free to founding members.

These are the exact resources practicing clinicians use to cut their admin time in half, stay confident in session, and finally leave work at work. No fluff. No catch. Just tools that actually make your day easier.

Here's everything you'll get instant access to:

This toolkit is 100% free today. You'll also get our weekly 5-minute newsletter packed with evidence-based strategies and practice-building insights delivered straight to your inbox.

Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a ship in a storm, waves crashing over the deck, wind tearing at the sails. Beneath the surface, invisible to anyone watching, an anchor holds firm in the ocean floor. The ship still rocks, still struggles, but it doesn't drift into danger because something unseen is keeping it tethered. Tonight, you can recognize that hope works the same way: you can feel tossed around and still be anchored to something that won't let you be swept away completely.

Spend three minutes writing: What am I hoping for right now, even quietly, and how does that hope keep me from drifting into despair when everything feels chaotic?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: Where did hope show up for me today, even in small ways? What would I lose if I let go of hope entirely? How can I tend to that anchor tomorrow, keeping it strong even when the waters are turbulent?

"What an anchor is to a ship, hope is to the soul. Both ships and souls are kept safe by a firm, secure anchor that keeps holding despite turbulent winds and churning tides." — June Hunt

Hope doesn't promise calm seas; it promises you won't drift away when the storm comes.

Are you a therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional with something meaningful to share?

We're opening up space in our newsletter for expert voices from the field — and we'd love to hear from you.

Whether it’s a personal insight, a professional perspective, or a practical tip for everyday mental health, your voice could make a difference to thousands of readers.

👉 Click here to apply to contribute — it only takes 2 minutes.

Coming Tuesday: Why choosing a quiet, scaled-back celebration doesn't make you less festive, and how doing less makes you honest about your actual capacity instead of performing joy you don't feel.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

Love what you read? Share this newsletter with someone who might benefit. Your recommendation helps our community grow.

*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.