Goals That Stick

January has barely started, and the pressure is already loud. Today’s edition focuses on realistic timelines, compassionate goal-setting, and permission to change direction when something no longer fits. No need to sprint into the year to be “doing it right.”

Today’s Quick Overview:

🔬 Science Spotlight: Habit change takes months…
🗣 Therapist Corner: Intentions, SMART goals, visioning…
📰 Mental Health News: Unfinished goals; brain research…
🫂 Community Voices: Permission to change course…

Let's see what you're taking forward and what you're leaving behind:

As this year closes its door behind you, what do you want to carry into the next one? The relationships that held you? The resilience you didn't know you had? And what gets to stay here? The past year's disappointments? The timeline you didn't meet? The version of yourself you've outgrown?

The past year holds lessons that can shape what comes next. How much are they influencing your New Year's intentions?

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The Power of New Year Goal Setting: Intentions, SMART Goals, and Creative Vision Boards

Answered by: Cherish A. Smith, MA, LMHC

Question: I want to approach the new year with some intention, but I'm tired of the pressure and failure that comes with traditional resolutions. How can I set goals that feel meaningful and achievable rather than like another setup for disappointment?

The start of a new year often invites reflection. It's a natural pause point—a moment to look back at what has been and gently consider what we want to create moving forward. While New Year's goal setting can sometimes feel pressured or rigid, when approached with intention and compassion, it can become a meaningful and empowering practice.

Why New Year Goal Setting Matters

Setting goals at the beginning of the year helps bring clarity and direction. It offers an opportunity to reconnect with what truly matters to us—our values, needs, and hopes—rather than simply reacting to life's demands. Thoughtful goal setting can increase motivation, improve focus, and provide a sense of purpose. When goals are aligned with our values, they feel less like obligations and more like invitations for growth.

Setting Intentions First

Before jumping into goals, it can be helpful to set intentions. Intentions focus on how you want to live and feel, rather than what you want to accomplish. For example, instead of "I want to be more productive," an intention might be "I want to approach my days with balance and self-compassion."

To set an intention, ask yourself:

Intentions act as an emotional compass, guiding your decisions and goals throughout the year.

Turning Intentions into SMART Goals

Once intentions are clear, goals can be created using the S.M.A.R.T. method, which helps transform vague ideas into achievable plans:

For example, instead of "I want to take better care of myself," a SMART goal might be: "I will attend one yoga class per week for the next three months to support my physical and emotional well-being."

Creative Art Activity: Vision Board Collage

A vision board is a powerful way to engage both creativity and intention. It allows your goals to take shape visually, activating imagination and emotional connection.

Materials Needed:

Steps:

There's no right or wrong way to create a vision board. The process itself can be calming, insightful, and empowering.

As the year unfolds, revisit your intentions and vision board as gentle reminders—not of pressure to achieve, but of the life you're intentionally creating, one mindful step at a time.

Cherish Smith is a Florida-licensed mental health counselor with a master's in psychology and art therapy, specializing in trauma-informed care. She helps adults heal from trauma, grief, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm using Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), art therapy, and traditional talk therapy. Connect with Cherish at allmylinks.com/cherishmentalhealth

The "21 Days to Form a Habit" Rule Is a Myth. Real Change Takes Much Longer

The Research: Researchers conducted the first systematic review of habit formation research, analyzing data from over 2,600 participants, and discovered that healthy habits actually begin forming within about two months (median of 59-66 days), but can take anywhere from four days to 335 days to fully establish. The study dismantles the widely repeated claim that it takes just 21 days to form a new habit.

The research identified several factors that influence successful habit formation. Timing matters: adding a new practice to your morning routine significantly increases success. Enjoyment is critical; you're far more likely to stick with a habit if you actually like doing it. Frequency and planning also play key roles.

Why It Matters: This research corrects a dangerous piece of misinformation that sets people up for failure. The 21-day myth creates unrealistic expectations, and when people don't feel automatic by three weeks, they assume they've failed and give up, often right when their habit is actually beginning to form. Understanding that habit formation typically takes two months removes the artificial deadline and gives people permission to keep going.

Try It Today: If you're struggling with a resolution you started in January, don't give up. You're not behind schedule, you're right on track. The research shows that two months is when habits begin to form, meaning you should expect to still be putting in conscious effort at this point.

Focus on the factors that support habit formation: tie your new behavior to an existing morning routine, choose activities you genuinely enjoy, and plan ahead to reduce friction. Most importantly, adjust your mental timeline. Instead of expecting a habit to lock in by three weeks, give yourself a solid two to three months of consistent practice.

I can trust that things take the time they take, not the time I wish they'd take. Realistic expectations protect me from unnecessary disappointment and help me pace myself sustainably.

Think of one goal you achieved that took longer than you originally planned. That extra time wasn't wasted; it was the actual timeline required for real, lasting change.

It's okay if your progress is slower than you expected. Underestimating timelines doesn't make you lazy; it makes you human.

Think of something you're trying to accomplish. Ask yourself honestly: "How long do I hope this takes versus how long it will realistically take?" If there's a gap, acknowledge it. Accepting the real timeline reduces the frustration of constantly feeling behind.

"The Day I Gave Myself Permission to Change My Mind"

Shared by Ian

When I was 22, I told everyone I was going to law school. I'd been planning it since high school, had already taken the LSAT, I started applications. It was the plan. My parents were proud, my friends were impressed, and I had this whole future mapped out.

But somewhere around 25, I realized I didn't actually want to be a lawyer. I just didn't know how to admit that after spending years telling everyone that's what I was doing.

So I kept half-heartedly working toward it. Saving money for law school I didn't want to attend. Talking about it like it was still happening. I felt trapped by my own old life choices, like changing my mind now would mean I'd wasted all that time or let everyone down.

My older sister finally asked me point-blank if I even wanted to go to law school anymore. I tried to dodge it, but she pushed. When I finally said no, she just shrugged and said, "So don't go."

It sounds so simple now, but I genuinely hadn't considered that as an option. I thought once you committed to something, especially something big, you had to follow through no matter what. But people change. What made sense at 22 doesn't have to make sense at 28. I'm allowed to want different things now than I wanted six years ago.

I'm a graphic designer now. Love my job. And nobody's mad at me for changing my mind except maybe 22-year-old me, and honestly, he didn't know what he was talking about anyway.

Share Your Story

Have a mental health journey you'd like to share with our community? Reply back to this email. All submissions are anonymized and edited for length with your approval before publication. Each published story receives a $10 donation to the mental health charity of your choice.

Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture yesterday's version of you, worried about all the things you thought you'd accomplish by today. Now here you are: some things happened, others didn't, and the world kept turning. The timeline you set in your head wasn't realistic, but beating yourself up about it didn't speed anything up. Tonight you can recognize that accepting how long things actually take is kinder and more effective than constantly being disappointed by optimistic guesses.

Spend three minutes writing: Where have I been setting unrealistic timelines that set me up to feel like I'm failing, when really I just underestimated how long meaningful change requires?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: What deadline did I miss today that was never realistic to begin with? Where am I judging my pace against an imaginary standard instead of actual human capacity? How can I set more honest timelines tomorrow that honor reality instead of wishful thinking?

"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." — Dale Carnegie

Realistic timelines aren't pessimistic; they're honest, and honesty is what keeps you going.

Podcast: How to Actually Keep Your New Year's Resolutions

Listen: How to Actually Keep Your New Year's Resolutions | 10% Happier With Dan Harris

Dan Harris cuts through the annual resolution shame spiral by explaining why you're just fighting evolution. Your brain evolved for short-term survival tasks, which leaves you ill-equipped for the slow, steady work required to reach long-term goals that don't provide immediate rewards. Instead of relying on willpower, he shares science-backed strategies from behavior change experts. The most powerful insight is about self-compassion, which Harris calls the "upstream habit that makes everything else possible." Rather than motivating yourself through self-criticism, you can be a good coach to yourself: holding yourself accountable without being harsh about it, which research shows actually makes you more likely to reach your goals.

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Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.