Protect Your Empathy

Today is World Mental Health Day, and it reminds us that access matters, in disasters and in daily life. We’re centering the well-being of givers today: the parents, helpers, clinicians, teachers, and friends who carry others. Your care counts too.

Today’s Quick Overview:

🔬 Science Spotlight: Lifelong friendship linked to slower cellular aging…
🗣 Therapist Corner: Spot compassion fatigue; safeguard your capacity…
📰 Mental Health News: Kids’ quiet courage; recovery models go global…
🫂 Community Voices: From burnout to sustainable empathy…

Let's check in with what part of you needs tending today:

What part of you most needs tending as this week closes? Your body deserves recognition for carrying you through. Your mind might need to finally quiet down and stop planning. Your heart could be ready to feel everything you've been holding. Tend to yourself with the care this week earned.

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Therapy Growth Wheel

Download your free Therapy Growth Wheel, a calming guide that maps six areas of growth, from emotional awareness and boundaries to connection and balance. Print it or save it to your phone as a daily reminder that therapy is about progress, self-compassion, and integration.

Answered by: Karen Dunholter, LMSW

Compassion fatigue (also called secondary trauma) is the emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that can result from caring for someone who is suffering over an extended period. It erodes your ability to empathize and is often described as the "negative cost of caring" or the feeling that "giving is no longer living."

Although commonly discussed in helping professions, compassion fatigue can affect anyone in a caregiving role — family caregivers, parents, friends, and community volunteers. It's a slow drain that occurs when you repeatedly prioritize others' emotional needs over your own.

Who's at Risk

Deeply empathetic people are especially vulnerable when they don't set healthy boundaries. They can fall into a pattern of trying to rescue or fix others, becoming emotionally over-responsible and losing sight of their own needs.

This depletes emotional reserves. Mother Teresa recognized this risk. She required her nuns to take a full year off every 4–5 years to recover from the strain of caregiving.

Why Early Recognition Matters

Spotting compassion fatigue early lets you set firmer boundaries, reach out for help, and practice restorative self-care — all of which restore energy and make caregiving sustainable.

Common Signs

How to Reduce Its Impact

Mitigating compassion fatigue means cultivating healthy empathy and a proactive self-care plan that protects your energy. Healthy empathy lets you notice and validate another's pain and offer presence or practical support without taking on or absorbing that pain.

A sustainable self-care plan is intentional and regular — not just an after-the-fact damage-control strategy. In some cases, you may need rest, recovery, renewal, or professional rehabilitation.

Your compassion becomes sustainable when you set healthy boundaries, pause to rest, nurture yourself, and receive the kindness you give so freely to others. Remember the oxygen mask on the airplane: if you do not secure it on yourself first, you will not be able to help others.

Karen Dunholter, LMSW, is an award-winning School Social Worker with 27 years of experience supporting students from Pre-K through high school. Named Michigan School Social Worker of the Year (2022), she co-leads the Downriver School Safety Task Force and serves as President of the Michigan Association for School Social Workers, advocating statewide for student well-being and school safety.

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Lifelong Friendships May Slow Aging at the DNA Level

The Research: Researchers analyzing over 2,100 adults found that cumulative social connections across a lifetime may slow biological aging at the cellular level.

People with richer, more sustained social connections showed younger biological profiles and lower levels of interleukin-6, a pro-inflammatory molecule implicated in heart disease. The key wasn't having friends now; it was the depth and consistency of social connections built across decades.

Why It Matters: This research suggests social connection may be as vital to longevity as diet or exercise. Unlike studies examining isolated factors like marriage status, this work shows that social advantages cluster and compound over time, with effects that may become embedded in your biology.

The findings suggest that childhood experiences, community involvement, and sustained friendships aren't just creating psychological benefits. They may be influencing how your cells age.

Try It Today: Think about social connection as a long-term health investment rather than just a mood booster. If you're young, start building diverse social networks across different life spheres. If you're older and feel your social world has narrowed, focus on consistency rather than quantity. Regular engagement with even a small community may provide benefits.

I can prioritize my own restoration without guilt. Taking care of myself isn't selfish; it's how I ensure I have something real to offer others.

Think of one moment this week when you felt genuinely rested or recharged. That feeling of fullness is what you deserve to operate from, not the exception to your normal state.

It's okay to say no to good things when you're running on empty. Protecting your energy isn't about being difficult; it's about being sustainable.

Check in with your body right now. Are you hungry, thirsty, tired, or tense? Choose one need and meet it immediately, without waiting for a better time. Your body has been asking; now listen.

"I Realized I Wasn't Helping Anyone by Burning Out."

Shared by Sofia

I used to think saying yes was proof that I cared. When friends called at midnight or coworkers needed "just one more favor," I always showed up. I thought that was what being kind meant. Then one morning, I sat in my car outside work and couldn't make myself go in. My body had hit a wall my mind refused to see.

My therapist said I was dealing with compassion fatigue. I actually laughed. That sounded like something for nurses or social workers, not regular people like me. But she was right. I'd spent so long rescuing everyone else that I'd forgotten to rest myself.

The weird part is, I thought I was being selfless. Turns out there's nothing noble about running yourself into the ground. When you're exhausted and resentful, you're not actually helping anyone; you're just going through the motions while slowly falling apart.

Now I check in with myself before agreeing to things: "Can I do this without resentment?" If the answer's no, I pause. Not because I stopped caring, but because I finally understand that care given from emptiness isn't kindness. It's just depletion wearing a helpful face.

The people who really matter in my life have been surprisingly cool with me having limits. Turns out, they'd rather have me present sometimes than be burnt out all the time.

Share Your Story

Have a mental health journey you'd like to share with our community? Reply back to this email. All submissions are anonymized and edited for length with your approval before publication. Each published story receives a $10 donation to the mental health charity of your choice.

Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a well in a village square where everyone comes to draw water. If the well runs dry because it's never allowed to refill, the whole community suffers. Tonight, you can see yourself as that well: valuable not for how much you can pour out, but for how carefully you allow yourself to fill back up.

Spend three minutes writing: What am I giving to others from depletion rather than abundance, and what would need to change for me to feel genuinely resourced?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: Where did I ignore my own needs today in service of something else? What would it look like to show up tomorrow from fullness instead of fumes? What's one form of rest or care I've been postponing that I could prioritize this week?

"Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what's left of you." — Katie Reed

You can't pour from an empty cup, and pretending you're full doesn't fool anyone, especially not yourself.

Book: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Read: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Brené Brown challenges the misconception that vulnerability equals weakness, revealing it instead as the birthplace of creativity, connection, and courage. She explores how our culture of "never enough" breeds shame and prevents authentic living. Brown shows that vulnerability isn't about oversharing but about selective trust with those who've "earned the right" to hear our stories. The book offers practical frameworks for building shame resilience, recognizing how perfectionism serves as armor against authentic connection, and understanding that true belonging means being accepted as you are.

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Coming Monday: Poor sleep ages your brain by a full year with inflammation to blame, and why improving sleep quality across five factors could potentially slow accelerated brain aging.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.