Quiet Holidays Count

When life is loud and the holidays start speeding up, rest becomes harder to access and more important to protect. Today’s edition is about naming what kind of rest you actually need, and giving yourself permission to take it without guilt.

Today’s Quick Overview:

🌟Self-Worth Spotlight: Low-key holidays count as enough…
🗣️ What Your Emotions Are Saying: Rest needs aren’t weakness…
📰 Mental Health News: Injury risk, hospitals overwhelmed…
🙏 Daily Practice: Rest before you crash…

Let's check in with what kind of rest your body is actually asking for:

What flavor of rest are you craving today? Physical rest from moving too much? Mental rest from deciding everything? Emotional rest from holding it all? Physical rest wants your body horizontal, mental rest wants someone else to plan dinner, emotional rest wants to stop performing and just be.

Knowing what rest you need and actually getting it are different challenges. What prevents you from accessing yours?

This Week's Challenge: The "Low-Key Holiday" Permission

What it is: Notice the pressure to create an impressive, Instagram-worthy holiday season, the perfect decorations, elaborate meals, thoughtful gifts, festive gatherings. This week, give yourself permission to choose a quiet, scaled-back celebration instead. Doing less doesn't make you less festive or successful, it makes you honest about your actual capacity and what you need right now.

Example scenarios: Skipping elaborate decorations and keeping it simple. Ordering takeout instead of cooking a big meal. Buying fewer gifts or choosing simpler options that fit your budget and energy. Declining party invitations to stay home and rest. Keeping traditions minimal or skipping some entirely because you just don't have it in you. Choosing a quiet day at home over traveling to multiple family gatherings.

Why it works: The cultural image of a "perfect holiday" creates pressure to perform joy, abundance, and togetherness regardless of your real circumstances or capacity. But forcing yourself to meet those standards when you're exhausted, grieving, or struggling creates resentment instead of meaning.

Try this: Identify one holiday expectation you're carrying that feels heavy. Ask yourself: "What would a low-key version of this look like? What if good enough is actually good?" Give yourself permission to try the simpler version this year.

Reframe this week: Instead of "I should be doing more to make this special," think "I'm doing what fits my reality, and that's enough."

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Feeling Inadequate Because You Need More Rest Than Others Seem To

You watch people around you juggling full schedules, showing up energized, bouncing back quickly from long days. Meanwhile, you need quiet time to recover from things that don't seem to faze them. A busy weekend leaves you depleted for days. Social events require advance rest and post-event hibernation. You start wondering if something's wrong with you, if you're weaker or less capable than everyone else.

Ask yourself: What if my rest needs are information, not inadequacy?

The Deeper Question: "Why can't I just power through like everyone else?"

Why This Matters: Needing more rest than others isn't a character flaw or a sign of weakness. Bodies and nervous systems have different thresholds shaped by temperament, health conditions, trauma history, sensory processing, neurodivergence, chronic illness, and countless other factors. What looks like someone else "powering through" might be them running on fumes in ways you can't see, or it might be that their system genuinely operates differently from yours. Either way, your body's needs are not a moral failing.

This inadequacy feeling points to how deeply we've absorbed the message that rest is something you earn or that needing it makes you less valuable.

What to Try: When you catch yourself in the comparison spiral, ask: "What does my body actually need to function well, regardless of what anyone else needs?"

Then practice treating that as neutral data rather than evidence of inadequacy. Some people need eight hours of sleep, some need nine. Some recharge alone, some recharge with people. Honoring your actual needs isn't giving up; it's the only way to sustain yourself over time.

I can rest without justifying it through exhaustion or achievement. My worth isn't measured by productivity, and rest is my right, not something I earn.

Think of one moment this week when you allowed yourself to rest without guilt. That pause reminded you that your value exists whether or not you're producing.

It's okay to rest before you hit empty. You don't need to justify downtime by proving you've done enough first.

Take a rest today that you haven't "earned." Sit down when there's still work to do. Take a nap when you're only tired, not depleted. Say no to something optional. Practice resting as an act of self-respect, not as a reward for productivity.

When Family Fills Every Moment of Holiday Visits With Activities, and You Need Downtime

The Scenario: You're visiting family, or they're visiting you, and they've scheduled every single moment with activities, outings, games, meals, and gatherings. There's no breathing room, no quiet time, and no space to just rest or be alone.

When you try to opt out of something or take a break, they act hurt or say things like, "but we planned this for you," or "you're being rude." You're exhausted from the constant stimulation and desperately need some unstructured downtime to recharge.

Try saying this: "I love spending time together, and I'm feeling overstimulated with so much planned. I need some quiet time built into our visit so I can actually enjoy being here."

Why It Works: You're making it clear you value time together, identifying that too much activity is the issue, not the people, being direct about needing downtime, and showing that rest will help you be more present.

Pro Tip: If they respond with "but there's so much we wanted to do together," you can say: "I appreciate that you planned things, and doing all of them will leave me too drained to enjoy any of them. Let's pick a few favorites and leave space in between." Don't feel guilty for needing rest during family visits. Constant activity isn't quality time, it's just exhaustion disguised as connection.

Important: These scripts work best when direct communication is safe and appropriate. Complex situations, including abusive dynamics, certain mental health conditions, cultural contexts with different communication norms, or circumstances where speaking up could escalate harm, often require personalized strategies. A mental health professional familiar with your specific circumstances can help you navigate boundary-setting in ways that fit your specific relationships and keep you safe.

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Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a field lying fallow, untouched by plow or seed. To some, it looks like wasted potential. But the farmer knows: this rest is what restores the soil, what makes future growth possible. The field isn't earning its rest through previous harvests. It's resting because that's what sustains life. Tonight you can see yourself as that field: worthy of restoration simply because you exist, not because you've produced enough to deserve it.

Spend three minutes writing: Where have I been treating rest as something I need to earn, and what would shift if I believed rest is my birthright, not a privilege?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: When did I deny myself rest today because I didn't feel I'd done enough? What message am I sending myself about my worth when I only allow rest after exhaustion? How can I practice resting as an act of dignity tomorrow?

"You are worthy of rest. We don't have to earn rest. Rest is not a luxury, a privilege, or a bonus we must wait for once we are burned out." — Tricia Hersey

Rest isn't something you earn; it's something you deserve simply for being alive.

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Coming Wednesday: Discover the surprising connection between breathing patterns and emotional regulation, plus the one morning habit that 78% of mental health professionals recommend for better daily resilience.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.