Stop 'Shoulding' Yourself

Good morning and welcome to your mid-week mental health check-in, where we offer respite for those caught between Monday's sprint and Friday's distant horizon. This edition equips you with practical tools for navigating workplace challenges, including a three-step script for reclaiming credit when colleagues appropriate your ideas, techniques to combat motivation-draining self-criticism, and insights on how the new global Pandemic Agreement affects stress levels across borders. You'll also discover how a simple half-teaspoon of turmeric can boost brain function, experience a tranquil library retreat through our Daily Practice, and learn how your Reset word can guide your day—whether you absorb everything now or save sections for a thoughtful coffee break.

Today’s Quick Overview:

💞 Relationship Minute: When a Coworker Takes Credit in a Meeting…
🧠 Cognitive Distortion Detector: Should, Must, and Ought Statements…
📰 Current Events & Your Mind: World Health Assembly approves the first global Pandemic Agreement; the United States remains outside the framework…
🍽️ Food & Mood: The power of turmeric…

Let's center ourselves before exploring today's agenda:

60-Second Reset: Mid-Week Scan

Now gently notice:

 Let that word guide your next move…

When a Coworker Takes Credit in a Meeting

The Scenario: You’re on the weekly call when your teammate walks the group through the onboarding plan you sketched out last month. They introduce it with a casual, “Here’s what we decided,” and never mention your name. Your pulse spikes, and you catch yourself writing a salty message in Slack before you even notice your fingers moving.

The Insight: Praise hits the brain like a small shot of dopamine; being overlooked hurts almost the same way a paper cut does. That jolt of social pain can push you straight into fight-or-flight, snapping in the meeting, gossiping after, or retreating into silence. Any of those moves might feel good for a moment, but they can ding your reputation and poison the project.

Why It Matters: Quick, calm self-advocacy protects your work and shows the team you play fair but won’t disappear into the background. Over time, that balance of collaboration and confidence is what leaders remember during review season.

Try This Next Time: Send a brief milestone summary before the meeting, one line per task, with initials next to each. When everyone already knows who did what, credit problems rarely pop up.

Should, Must, and Ought Statements

What it is: The “should storm”, is a mental habit of laying down hard rules for yourself with words like should, must, or ought. It’s a thought shortcut that turns preferences into commandments and rewrites daily life as a series of pass-fail tests.

What it sounds like:
“I should already own a house at my age.”
“I must finish every task perfectly or the day is wasted.”
“I ought to be the friend who always says yes.”

Why it’s a trap: These invisible rules generate instant guilt when you miss them and shame when you can’t meet them. Because the bar is often unrealistically high, success feels brief while “failure” feels constant. Over time, the brain starts expecting disappointment, which drains motivation instead of fueling it.

Try this instead: Swap rigid shoulds for flexible language. Replace “I should have a flawless presentation” with “I’d like to deliver clear key points.” Then ask, “What small step will move me closer?” Shifting to could, might, or want to opens space for realistic goals and self-compassion.

Today’s Thought Tweak: Original thought: “I should be in better shape by now.”
Upgrade: “I want to feel stronger, so I’ll add a ten-minute walk after lunch today.”

One word change lowers the pressure, turns judgment into intention, and invites action you can meet, today, not someday.

The Headline: World Health Assembly approves the first global Pandemic Agreement; the United States remains outside the framework. On 20 May 2025, the World Health Assembly adopted a legally binding accord designed to improve surveillance, share medical countermeasures, and finance rapid responses ahead of future disease outbreaks. 

Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand called the pact a critical step toward equitable health security. The United States, no longer a WHO member, was not present for the vote and will not be covered by the treaty’s obligations. 

Mental-Health Lens: Collective crises often leave a long tail of “anticipatory anxiety”, the worry that disaster could strike again with no clear plan. Surveys after COVID-19 showed that uncertainty about government coordination predicted higher rates of insomnia and intrusive thoughts. 

The new treaty may ease that tension for citizens of signatory nations by signaling shared responsibility, yet Americans could feel new unease knowing their country opted out. Recognizing this split helps explain why today’s headlines land differently across borders.

Coping Tip: Focus on the layers of preparedness you can influence: keep a basic two-week supply of prescriptions, store up-to-date vaccination records digitally, and bookmark your local health department alert system. 

Converting vague dread into simple check-boxes shifts the brain from threat scanning to problem-solving, a proven way to lower stress hormones during periods of global uncertainty.

Today’s Mental Health News:

Today’s Visualization Journey: Library Alcove Reset

Picture stepping into a high-ceilinged, wood-paneled library. The afternoon sun slants through stained-glass windows, scattering jewel-toned patterns across long oak tables. 

You settle into a deep leather chair tucked between towering shelves. Inhale the comforting scent of old paper and polished wood; exhale the mental clutter that’s crowded your mid-week brain. 

As you breathe, imagine silent pages fluttering open around you, each one absorbing a stray worry until the air feels spacious and still.

Make It Yours: Swap the library for any personal “mind haven”, a favorite café corner, an art studio, or even your childhood reading nook, where quiet focus comes easily.

Today’s Affirmations

Carry this into meetings, chats, and self-talk. A well-timed “why?” or “how?” turns fog into focus.

Try this: Before your next task, whisper the affirmation once, then write one question that could make the job smoother.

Gratitude Spotlight

Today’s Invitation: “Who quietly kept the gears turning for you this week?”

A colleague who forwarded clear notes, the barista who remembered your order, or a roommate who tackled dishes unasked.

The Science Behind It: Recognizing “invisible labor” strengthens social bonds and releases oxytocin, the hormone combo linked to lower cortisol and steadier heart rate in mid-week stress peaks.

Try This: Send a 20-word thank-you text before noon to someone who helped you recently. Limiting yourself to 20 words keeps the note clear and focused, and hitting “send” early gives you an oxytocin-boosting win before the day crowds in. Mention the specific thing they did and the impact it had, no emojis are needed unless that’s your style.

Why it matters today: Under pressure, we tend to judge ourselves by the hardest moment in the room, the fumbled answer, the stalled project, the blank stare at a spreadsheet. 

Psychology calls this the “spotlight effect”: we fixate on our flaws while everyone else keeps moving. Milne’s reminder cuts through that tunnel vision, pointing to the evidence we miss, the times we spoke up, pushed through fatigue, or solved a problem nobody else saw coming.

Bring It Into Your Day: Set a phone alarm for mid-afternoon titled “Proof Point.” When it rings, pause and note one small act of courage, strength, or insight from the last 24 hours, anything from asking a clarifying question in a meeting to finding a faster way to prep dinner. 

Jot it in a notes app or on a sticky, then move on. A 15-second proof point practiced daily trains your brain to log wins as faithfully as it logs stumbles.

Spotlight Ingredient: Turmeric

Turmeric is the dried, ground root that colors curries a warm yellow. Its main compound, curcumin, acts as an antioxidant and mild anti-inflammatory and has been linked in early studies to steadier mood and clearer memory.

Because curcumin doesn’t absorb well on its own, add a crack of black pepper. The piperine helps your body take it up several times better. Stir about half a teaspoon of turmeric (plus that pepper) into soup, scrambled eggs, or even a smoothie for an easy daily boost.

Simple Mood-Boosting Recipe: Turmeric Hummus

Makes 1½ cups – about 10 minutes

Why it works: Chickpeas supply protein and fiber for steady energy, while turmeric and pepper deliver curcumin in a form your body can use.

Mindful Eating Moment: Before your first bite, notice the hummus’s yellow-orange color and the hint of lemon and spice in the aroma. Take one deliberate scoop and chew slowly, paying attention to the change from creamy to slightly grainy. That short pause pulls your mind out of autopilot and back into the present, turning a quick snack into a mini reset.

Your 3-Minute Writing Invitation:
“Catch a doubting thought you’ve had this week (‘I’ll mess this up’). List three facts, big or small, that prove it wrong or incomplete.”

Why Today’s Prompt Matters:
Replacing vague self-critique with concrete counter-evidence rewires negative prediction pathways. Over time, your inner narrator shifts from “I can’t” to “I’ve handled things like this before.”

When a Friend Keeps Canceling, and Invites You Yet Again

The Scenario: Brunch with Sarah has become a running joke: three invites, three eleventh-hour “Sorry, something came up” texts. 

Now her message pops up: “Let’s try Saturday?” You enjoy her company, yet the steady stream of rain checks has turned your excitement into apprehension. You’d like to reconnect, but not at the cost of another empty morning and cold pancakes for one.

Try saying this: “Hey Sarah, I miss hanging out! The last few plans fell through, so before I block off the morning, could you confirm by Friday noon that Saturday is a go? If it still feels uncertain, let’s choose a day that’s firmer for you.”

(Optional add-on if weekends seem tough)
“And if Saturdays keep getting crowded, we could catch up over a quick video call this week instead.”

Why It Works

Pro Tip: Use “tentative” calendar holds until plans are locked in. Seeing that lighter color block reminds you the time isn’t truly booked, so if Sarah cancels again, your day is still yours to design.

Ask for Clarity, Not an Apology

It’s okay to pause a meeting, chat, or text thread and say, “Can you spell that out for me?” Confusion isn’t failure; it’s the first step toward precision.

Why it matters: Research shows teams that surface questions early cut re-work time by nearly half. Curiosity protects energy better than guessing.

If you need the reminder: Questions don’t slow progress, they steer it.

Tonight's Gentle Review

Slow down with three reflective questions:

Release Ritual:
Jot that lingering question on a small paper, slip it beneath your keyboard, and let the desk “hold” it overnight, freeing your mind for rest.

Your nervous system reads clutter as unfinished work. Pick one pocket-sized tidy-up that tells the brain, “We’ve got room to think.”

Coming Friday: Planning an operation, or know someone who is? This week’s Science Spotlight breaks down new UCLA data showing that a brief course of pre-surgery “mind training” can cut hospital time by more than a day and lower post-op pain and anxiety. Tune in Friday to learn what psychological prehabilitation looks like and how to put the basics in place well before the hospital gown.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.