Stop Sunk Costs

Today, we’re zooming in on how your own thinking can trap you in the wrong places. By naming the sunk cost fallacy and how it shows up in real life, this issue helps you tell the difference between healthy persistence and staying put just because you started there.

Today’s Quick Overview:

💞 Relationship Minute: When holidays deepen loneliness…
🧠 Cognitive Bias Detector: Noticing sunk-cost-driven choices…
📰 Mental Health News: Psychologists and AI; 1 in 5 report poor mental health…
🍽️ Food & Mood: Chia seeds…

Let's see what you're carrying and what you can set down:

What have you been carrying through the middle of this week? The strain of holding it all together? Questions you can't answer yet? What deserves to be set down? The myth that you should be further along, the responsibility for things you can't control, or the fear of disappointing someone.

Sometimes we stay on the wrong path even when we know better. What keeps you going when you should turn back?

Therapeutic Dialectical Thinking Poster

Healing doesn’t mean choosing one truth over another; it’s learning to hold both. The Therapeutic Dialectical Thinking Poster helps you practice emotional balance by embracing self-acceptance and growth together. Download this free printable guide to explore gentle affirmations that remind you: you can be healing and still a work in progress.

Sunk Cost Fallacy

What it is: Sunk Cost Fallacy is when you let past time, money, or effort control your current decisions, even when those costs can't be recovered, and continuing forward is a bad choice. You keep investing in something that isn't working because you've "already come this far" or "put so much into it," rather than making decisions based on what makes sense going forward.

What it sounds like: "I've already spent two years in this relationship, I can't leave now." "We're 80% done with the project, so we have to finish it." "I've already invested so much time learning this skill, I can't quit now."

Why it's a trap: This pattern keeps you stuck in bad situations because you're focused on what you've already invested in rather than what makes sense going forward.

You continue projects that aren't working, stay in jobs that make you miserable, or keep paying for subscriptions you don't use simply because you've already spent time or money on them. Past costs can't be recovered, but you keep adding new costs trying to justify the old ones.

You also miss better opportunities because your resources are tied up in commitments that no longer serve you. Meanwhile, you're treating "not quitting" as a virtue when sometimes stopping is actually the smartest move you can make.

Try this instead: When facing a decision about whether to continue something, ask: "If I were starting fresh today with no history, would I choose this?" Ignore what you've already spent and focus only on future costs versus future benefits. What will you gain or lose from this point forward?

Today's Thought Tweak

When Everyone Else Seems to Have Somewhere to Belong During Holidays

The Scenario: The holiday season arrives, and suddenly your social media fills with photos of big family dinners and celebrations. Strangers ask cheerfully, "What are you doing for the holidays?"

But you don't have the traditional setup. Maybe you're estranged from family, living far from anyone you're close to, have recently lost someone, or simply don't fit into the conventional holiday picture. Everyone else seems to have their people and their place, while you're facing empty days that highlight what you don't have.

The loneliness feels heavier because it's not just about being alone; it's about feeling like everyone else has figured out how to belong, except you.

The Insight: Loneliness intensifies during periods when belonging is culturally emphasized. The holidays create a magnifying effect where the absence of connection feels more acute because we're surrounded by messages about togetherness and family. It's not that you're more alone during holidays, it's that the contrast between expectation and reality becomes impossible to ignore.

The Strategy:

Try This: When the loneliness hits hard, try reaching out to one person, even just to say, "This season is tough for me." Sometimes naming the feeling reduces its power. And if traditional celebrations aren't accessible to you, give yourself permission to create something different that honors where you actually are, not where you think you should be.

I can change direction without viewing the past as wasted time. Recognizing I'm on the wrong path and choosing to turn around is courage, not failure.

Think of one time you changed course after realizing something wasn't working. That pivot took strength, and it led you somewhere better than stubbornness ever could have.

It's okay to admit you were wrong about a choice, a relationship, a career, or a belief. Continuing down a path just because you've already invested time doesn't make it the right path.

Identify one area of your life where you know deep down you're heading in the wrong direction, but keep going anyway because you've already committed. Ask yourself honestly: "What would it cost me to turn back, and what would it cost me to keep going?"

When You Want to Set a Joint Boundary as a Couple

The Scenario: You and your partner are navigating tricky dynamics with family, whether that's around visit lengths, certain topics that come up, overnight stays, or how involved extended family is in your decisions. Right now, it feels like you're always the one bringing up boundaries while your partner stays neutral or defaults to what their family wants. You'd like to approach these situations as a team, so it doesn't feel like you're the only one creating distance.

Try saying this: "I want us to decide together what feels healthy for our relationship when it comes to family boundaries. Can we agree on one or two limits that we both stand by, so it doesn't always feel like I'm the only one pushing for change?"

Why It Works: You're asking them to help create the boundaries, not just enforce yours, framing these boundaries as protecting your relationship rather than attacking their family, naming that you feel alone in this right now, and keeping it specific by asking for a manageable number of boundaries to start with.

Pro Tip: Once you agree on boundaries together, you can say to family: "We've decided as a couple that [boundary]." Using "we" language makes it clear this is a team decision, not just one partner being difficult. If your partner won't agree to set joint boundaries, that's a separate conversation about whether they're willing to prioritize your relationship over family pressure.

Important: These scripts work best when direct communication is safe and appropriate. Complex situations, including abusive dynamics, certain mental health conditions, cultural contexts with different communication norms, or circumstances where speaking up could escalate harm, often require personalized strategies. A mental health professional familiar with your specific circumstances can help you navigate boundary-setting in ways that fit your specific relationships and keep you safe.

Spotlight Ingredient: Chia Seeds

Chia seeds are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which help reduce inflammation and support cognitive function. Research shows that omega-3s can improve mood and may help with anxiety and depression. Beyond omega-3s, chia seeds provide all nine essential amino acids your brain needs to make neurotransmitters, plus antioxidants that protect your brain cells and magnesium that calms your nervous system.

Simple Recipe: Overnight Mood-Boost Chia Parfait

Prep time: 5 minutes + overnight | Serves: 1

Ingredients:

Steps:

Why it works: The omega-3s in chia seeds combine with probiotics from yogurt to support the gut-brain axis, while the slow-releasing energy prevents morning mood dips.

Mindful Eating Moment: Notice how the tiny seeds transform overnight into a pudding-like consistency. Pay attention to the subtle nutty flavor and gentle pop of each seed, appreciating these simple ingredients that support your mental wellness.

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Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a traveler who realizes they've been walking the wrong trail for miles. They have two choices: keep going out of pride, hoping it will somehow lead where they need to go, or turn around and take the detour back to where they made the wrong turn. The second option feels like admitting defeat, but it's actually the only one that gets them home. Tonight, you can ask yourself where you've been walking stubbornly forward when turning around would be wiser.

Spend three minutes writing: What path am I on right now that I know isn't right for me, and what's stopping me from admitting it and changing direction?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: Where did I keep going today out of pride rather than wisdom? What would I do differently if I wasn’t worried about looking like I made a mistake? How can I practice the courage to turn back tomorrow if that's what's needed?

"No matter how far you've gone down the wrong road, turn back." — Turkish proverb

Pride will keep you walking in the wrong direction forever. Wisdom knows when to turn around. It's never too late to choose a different road, even if it means backtracking to find it.

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Coming Thursday: What to say when someone makes you feel bad for declining holiday invitations, and how to protect your energy without apologizing while reassuring them that "no" doesn't mean your friendship doesn't matter.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.