Survival to Choice

With the season changing, it’s normal for routines to wobble. Gentle adjustments help more than big leaps. We’ve shortened our practices so they’re easier to move through. You’ll still find the same tools, just in a lighter, more focused format.

Today’s Quick Overview:

 🔬Science Spotlight: Healthy eating over 15 years slows heart disease & dementia...
🛠️ Tool of The Week: Savoring: Pause 10–20s so good moments stick...
📰 Mental Health News: Most UK 16–25s struggle; managers affect mental health...
🙏 Therapist Corner: Early trauma/attachment can shape BPD/NPD...

Let's notice what feels open and closed within you right now:

What part of you feels open this Monday morning? Maybe your mind is open to new ideas, your heart is open to possibility, or your schedule feels open with potential.

And what feels closed? Maybe your energy is closed off and protective, your emotions are closed while you gather strength, or your willingness to rush is closed for good reason.

Both your openness and your closure are protecting something important.

Change feels possible in different places at different times. Where do you sense the most room to shift right now?

Understand yourself and your relationships with a clear, judgment-free visual of the four attachment patterns—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. See at a glance the common fears, behaviors, and dynamics each style can bring into connection.

Use it whether you’re working through a tough pattern or just getting curious about how you relate. Insight doesn’t label you; it gives you language and choice.

Download, print, or save—your small, compassionate gift to relational awareness today.

Answered by: Dawn Hupfeld, LMHC, CDBT, CCTP-II, CPD

Many people live with emotional patterns they can’t quite explain—intense reactions, unstable relationships, chronic self-doubt, or a deep fear of abandonment.

These struggles often trace back to early experiences that shaped how we see ourselves and connect with others. When those early experiences involved neglect, inconsistency, or emotional harm, they can leave behind invisible wounds that ripple through adulthood.

Let’s gently unpack how complex trauma and attachment disruptions in childhood can contribute to personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)—and how healing is possible.

🧠 What Is Complex Trauma?

Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma refers to repeated, prolonged exposure to distress—often in caregiving relationships. This might include:

These experiences don’t just hurt in the moment—they shape the nervous system, emotional regulation, and sense of self. Over time, they can lead to attachment wounds, which are disruptions in the way we bond and trust others.

🧩 Attachment Wounds: The Foundation of Personality

Attachment theory teaches us that children rely on caregivers to meet emotional and physical needs. When those needs are unmet or inconsistently met, children adapt by developing survival strategies. These adaptations can later manifest as personality traits—or in more extreme cases, personality disorders.

Common Attachment Styles:

🔍 How Personality Disorders Can Emerge

Not everyone with trauma develops a personality disorder. Genetics, temperament, support systems, and resilience all play a role. But when attachment wounds are deep and persistent, they can shape the way someone copes with emotions and relationships.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):

These disorders aren’t character flaws—they’re adaptations to pain. They reflect unmet needs for safety, validation, and connection.

💔 Why It’s Hard to See the Connection

Many adults don’t realize their current struggles stem from childhood. They may blame themselves for being “too sensitive” or “too needy,” not recognizing that their emotional blueprint was shaped in survival mode.

Common signs of unresolved attachment trauma:

🌱 What Healing Looks Like

Healing from complex trauma and attachment wounds isn’t linear—but it is possible. It often involves:

Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means learning to respond to it differently. It’s about reclaiming your emotional life with gentleness and clarity.

🪞 Recognizing Patterns in Yourself or Loved Ones

If you or someone you care about shows signs of emotional dysregulation, unstable relationships, or deep insecurity, it may be worth exploring the role of early attachment and trauma. Therapy can help uncover these patterns and offer tools for change.

Validation is key: You’re not broken. You adapted to survive. And now, you can learn to thrive.

💬 Final Thoughts

Complex trauma and attachment wounds are tender topics. They deserve to be met with empathy, not judgment. Whether you're in therapy, considering it, or simply trying to make sense of your emotional world, know this: your pain makes sense. And healing is not only possible—it’s your birthright.

Dawn Hupfeld, LMHC, CDBT, CCTP-II, CPD, is the Solo Practitioner/Owner of Country Roads Mental Health, PLLC, who provides telehealth services to anyone in Iowa. Country Roads Mental Health, PLLC, stands as a shining beacon of hope for adults who are grappling with the complex challenges associated with Complex Trauma, PTSD, Personality Disorders, and Dissociative Disorders.

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Savoring

What it is: Savoring is the deliberate act of slowing down to fully feel a good moment. Instead of letting it rush by, you pause and stretch a few seconds of pleasure into a minute of nourishment.

How to practice: When something pleasant happens, resist the urge to move on.

Why it works: The brain leans toward noticing problems more than positives. Savoring rebalance this by strengthening pathways that hold on to calm and joy a little longer.

It is not a denial of difficulty; it is building a small reservoir you can draw from when life gets heavy. With practice, those brief pauses add up to real changes in mood and regulation.

When to use it: First sip of morning coffee, a tiny win (sent the email!), transitions between tasks, moments of kindness. This is especially useful on tough days. Savoring doesn’t erase pain, it makes room for what’s still okay alongside it.

Pro tip: Create “savoring anchors”, or predictable pauses you return to daily, like stepping outside for the first air or the stretch after lunch. You can savor anticipation and memory, too. Looking forward to a plan and recalling a good moment both light up similar reward pathways.

The Diet That Protects Your Brain from Dementia and Your Heart from Disease, Backed by 15 Years of Data

Research finding: Researchers followed more than 2,400 older adults in Sweden for 15 years. They compared people whose diets looked like well-studied healthy patterns (MIND, Mediterranean, AHEI) with those eating more red and processed meat, sweets, and sugary drinks.

Over time, the healthier patterns were associated with a slower accumulation of cardiovascular disease and dementia, while pro-inflammatory, ultra-processed patterns were linked to faster disease build-up. Effects did not show up the same way for muscle or bone conditions, which may need different prevention strategies.

Why it matters: This is long-horizon evidence that how you eat most of the time shapes your health trajectory, not just single numbers on a lab test. Patterns beat perfection. Consistency over years matters more than any one “perfect” day.

What the protective diets share: Plenty of vegetables and fruits, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and olive oil or other unsaturated fats, with limited sweets, red and processed meats, and sugary drinks.

Try it today: Instead of adopting a rigid plan, tilt your plate toward the shared core. Add one vegetable to lunch, swap refined grains for whole grains, include a handful of nuts or beans, cook with olive oil, and cut one sugary drink. Reduce red or processed meat at one meal this weekend. Repeat small moves most days.

I can trust that my best work emerges from rhythm, not force. The week ahead responds better to steady intention than to frantic momentum.

Think of one conversation from last week where you truly listened without planning your response. That presence created something real.

It's okay to prioritize differently than others expect. Your energy belongs to you, and only you know how to spend it wisely.

Before starting work, write down three things that would make today feel worthwhile. Not productive, not successful, but worthwhile. Let those guide your choices.

Evening Reset: Notice, Write, Settle

Picture a craftsperson at their bench at day's end, carefully putting tools back in their proper places. Not rushed, not elaborate, just the quiet ritual of closing one chapter before opening another. Tonight can hold that same intentional pause.

Spend three minutes writing: What did I notice about my inner dialogue today: was I harsh, encouraging, distracted, and what does that tell me about what I need?

Close your notebook and ask yourself: What felt aligned today? Where did I push when I needed to pause? What deserves my attention tomorrow?

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them." — Albert Einstein

A new question can open doors that pushing the same answer never will.

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Coming Tuesday: What to say when your family keeps asking what's wrong when you're not ready to talk, and how to ask for processing space without shutting them out permanently.

Researched and edited by Natasha. Designed with love by Kaye.

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*The Daily Wellness shares educational content only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a licensed provider for personalized care.